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Finally, the Evan Almighty script is here for all you fans of the Steve Carell movie. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop kkeep a line. At least you'll have some Evan Almighty quotes or even a monologue or two to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

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Why do you think they call it a crisis? Do you also have cable? Who do you like in the game tonight?

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Oh, come on, son. You know that everything happens for a reason.

How could I make this about me? Yes, Marty. They feel huge.

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You install the Clapper? Congressman, let me warn you, you are approximately 10 seconds away from committee censure. All this horsepower and no room to gallop. This, my friend, is a power office, to remind you of the mission! What's with the scruffle, mountain man?

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There's nothing wrong with makin' people laugh. It is not in my power to give you anchor. I have a very rare blood type. Krep Grace, then Bruce. Wait a minute.

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Oh, God. Well, if you were going for that rugged look, you overshot it. How do you make somebody love you without affecting free will? He could fix my life in five minutes if he wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm!

Time for you to go home, little buddy. No, nothing.

You can't. Do me a favor.

Right there. Lord, I need a miracle. Sorry I'm late. News flash! Look, I'm a politician now.

Now, it is in December.

Uh, can you-- Thanks, pal. This is hilarious. Wouldn't call you if I did. From a very reliable friend of a friend of a girl Grace, come here! I've been expecting you. GOD: Until September 22, midday. Chuck Long, Resources Committee Chairman. The seventh at If it were me, I would take all the help I could get.

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Evan Almighty Script

You got it. You want more proof? A mediocre life? Gene, here, now.

Jack's throwing me a party Friday night Nah, I'm just messin' with you. You have got to be kidding me. You look perky, hon.

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I'm doing a background check on that. Keeping it fresh. It's your life. I might need security.